Jenkins: I’m fairly certain “I’ve been losin’ friends and findin’ peace, but honestly that sound like a fair trade to me” will top the Instagram caption charts, but if I could suggest an alternative: “I remember that I told you I miss you, that was kinda like a mass text.” Please use this for your post-break-up glow-up selfie. I also expect to see, “Anxiety’s a drug I use to get the job done,” and, “Knew I needed love but I think I value the hate more.” Eventually I expect LeBron James to get tired of guests at his home asking to reenact, “Up in Bron crib, fishbowl wineglasses.” James: I saw three instances of, “I’ve been losin’ friends and findin’ peace,” on social media within an hour of the album’s release. Sayles: “Heart is on my sleeve and my body is in the hall of fame.” Honestly, who can’t relate? What’s the best Instagram caption on CLB? Sayles: “Fucking Fans” is a photocopy of a photocopy of a Drake song, with only the toxicity becoming clearer each time. Kermah: Without question, it’s gotta be “Girls Want Girls.” I’m not trying to write a think piece on “Yeah, say that you a lesbian, girl, me too,” but Drake is getting too old to rap shit like this.Ĭomer: The closest I’ve come to a quick skip is “Knife Talk,” which sounds like it belongs on Dark Lane Demo Tapes, not Drizzy’s first major release since 2018. I thought that it might be a sample of some viral “How to Make a Kid Cudi Song” video. I’ve been enjoying him all week on Kanye’s “Moon.” But when “IMY2” kicked in, it instantly sounded to me like a parody of a Kid Cudi song. Pryor: I know I’m tempting a swarm of millennial male angst with this but I’m gonna go with “IMY2.” Drake does best with someone who covers up his own vocal limitations, which is, uh, not Cudi. I’m shocked it’s not a song about how the maids are stealing his fine china. Harvilla: Just say no to Drake talking fake tough on a song called “Knife Talk” in the year of our lord 2021. Jenkins: “Way 2 Sexy.” What is that chorus? The Hollow Prestige of ‘Certified Lover Boy’ 3. You run into assholes all day? You’re the asshole.”
Rob Harvilla : To quote the great Raylan Givens, “You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you’re looking for Pop Drake, R&B Drake, or Dance Floor Drake, this isn’t the Drake album for you.Īric Jenkins : Listening to the opening track and thinking, Man, this is some “Tuscan Leather” shit, is mostly a compliment but also a little damning. The bars here are more memorable than the songs. Matt James : If all you ever want out of Drake is for him to rap his damn ass off, you’re really going to enjoy CLB. But I have to dock some points for not giving a feature to fellow Kanye nemesis Soulja Boy. Jonathan Kermah: A less exhausting listening experience than Donda. It sounds like the final album in a trilogy with Take Care and Nothing Was the Same, and that’s something to celebrate. Lex Pryor : Don’t worry … … Daddy’s home.ĭan Comer: It’s too early to say whether CLB’s a classic, but it’s certainly stronger than Views and Scorpion.
Justin Sayles : We’ve reached the point where Drake albums are no longer good or bad, they’re just Drake albums: pretty good on first listen, worse on subsequent ones, too long, something to appeal to every type of listener. What’s your tweet-length review of Certified Lover Boy?ĭanny Heifetz : A lot of feelings but not a lot of vibes. But was it worth the wait? The Ringer staff gives their initial reviews, debates who is winning the Drake-Kanye feud, and tries to figure out whether “Way 2 Sexy” is trash or classic. Nearly nine months after he promised to drop Certified Lover Boy, Drake has finally returned with his latest project.
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